Awakening...

Like the blossom on trees and spring flowers starting to appear, my time of dormancy is coming to an end. It's time to awaken...You may have noticed that I've been a little quiet over here and there are good reasons for that. I made the decision to take advantage of winter, the time of year when hibernation is part of the natural seasonal cycle. Hibernation brings with it the chance to focus energy where it is needed most. Perhaps for me this winter has meant a focus of energy on my roots, of who I am, what I do and what I plan to make happen this year. It has felt the very best way to spend my time and has given me the much needed energy to begin our wedding plans, make changes to my day job and focus on my personal development of becoming a life and business coach...

Planning our wedding started full force at the start of the year when Mr C and I made the decision to set our date for October this year. The decision to get married with under 10 months to go, meant that we triggered a surge of decision making and bookings to enable us to firm up a few key plans. We've taken time to get our heads straight, work out what we really want for our day and decide what is really important to us. We've started piecing together a day that stays true to us, our values, our beliefs, and have put time and energy into planning how we want our wedding day to feel. We want our celebration to be chilled out, relaxed and fun and these three words are at the heart of everything that we want to experience on the day, as well as during the planning phase. We have really embraced the words as a guide which has helped us sense check all that we are doing.

With my day job and career plans I've realised that I've had an awakening of sorts... During the past two months I have allowed myself do something a little differently and to challenge myself. With a big project about to begin in the next week or so I've been reflecting on past learnings, preparing and making the most of this time to establish a few new elements in my role. I want to enhance what I'm doing each day, to reinvigorate myself, and enable my job role to tap into areas of my skill set that I know I can comfortably deliver but have not yet shown in a work environment. Deep down I know that I have been putting too much energy into burying what I can do, hanging around in the doldrums and sitting on the sidelines being safe.  I know deep down that to feel reinvigorated I need to take control, make it happen myself and not wait for anyone else to tell me what to do. Taking that control has given me the chance to sculpt something that I'm really very proud of, with a fusion of my creativity, knowledge and delivery skills I'm seeing the true me surface once more.

As you may have read in a blog post last autumn, I'm undertaking a dream of mine to train to become a life and business coach. The time on the course has gone so quickly and we are now nearing the end of the training. I am really going to miss the incredible people that I've been lucky to meet who teach the course and the fellow students that inspire me in so many different ways. Being in a learning environment since September has enabled me to believe that I can push myself and study again whilst working, something that I was unsure I wanted to do again. I know that learning is a core part of who I am and it's where I thrive the most. There is something special about this coaching course and learning environment that has sparked something in me that no other qualification has done so far in my life. I know that passing this course is very important to me and my future plans and I feel very lucky to be part of it. I don't know when I will have the privilege to learn again in such an encouraging environment, so I am making the most of the final weeks of the course. I have been immersing myself in the subject and studying as much as I can, and setting myself a daily check in to ensure that I'm applying what I'm learning every day.

I've awakened a process of change in me that I'm really enjoying. I'm grasping it with both hands as I take a journey I haven't been on before. When I think back to the very moment of realisation for me that signalled I needed a change, I can see how very far I have come in the past nine months. The closing keynote that Anthony Peters made at last year's Blogtacular conference was that moment for me. In his final few words at the conference he said, "Are you doing what you love? Or just what is expected of you?", these words still bring about a huge emotional reaction within me. From a feeling in the base of my stomach that moves through my body to the surface of my skin...through to a few small tears that fill my eyes...the feeling is quickly replaced by a knowing desire to push myself to move forwards with a feeling of excitement and relief. I can wholeheartedly say that I am now doing what I love, and not what is expected of me. My wall of feel good messages has helped me bring about a focus of momentum that I needed.

I know that all I needed was to give myself permission to make the change and to believe in myself. I gave myself the gift of dormancy, to plan and prepare, and have given myself permission to make steps forwards. I can see and feel that I have awakened from a slumber and like a bulb planted in the soil, absorbing nutrients and resources from the surrounding soil, I feel that for the first time in a while that I've created an environment ready for a new shoot to begin to surface... Taking the time to hibernate was what I really needed to prepare myself and get ready to grow again. I needed to dream, to believe in myself, to own my plans and feel the achievement in the changes that I'm making... I have taken a brave move to awaken the resources in me and to awaken my heart.